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Writing Samples
Band 7

the bar chart below shows the most important causes of stress for different age groups in Canada. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the bar chart below shows the most important causes of stress for different age groups in Canada. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 from four age groups get
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
 in Canada.
Overall
Linking Words
, as
people
Use synonyms
 age, they are increasingly more likely to be worried about their health conditions and no specific reason, as opposed to financial and working problems which are deemed to be no longer a major concern for the
Canadian
Fix the agreement mistake
Canadians
show examples
 later in life. Over 32% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canadian aged over 65 experienced stress resulting from no particular reason, accounting for the largest proportion by far.
This
Linking Words
 most common stressor among the elderly was followed by health issues, with figures being 15% and 24%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the two younger groups are less likely to be concerned about these problems below 7% of
people
Use synonyms
 between 25 and 54 years old and much higher figures of 10 and 16% of the 54-64-year-olds encounter. A majority of the youngest group
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 under pressure from work, with
figure
Add an article
the figure
show examples
 being 25%, which is 10% higher than the proportion for financial instability, the
second
Linking Words
common
Correct quantifier usage
most common
show examples
 cause of stress. A similar pattern is seen among 55-64-year-old
people
Use synonyms
, with figures being considerably smaller at 15% and 14% respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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