IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

#people #drinks
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These
day
Suggestion
days
, there is vast
consuption
the process of taking food into the body through the mouth (as by eating)
consumption
conception
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 drinks, is included in
uor
of or belonging to us
our
your
or
 routine,
although
Linking Words
 everyone
know
Suggestion
knows
 the bad
effect
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
sugar but
Accept comma addition
sugar, but
their
people in general
they
 neglect causes
negative
Suggestion
a negative effect
effect
Use synonyms
 on their
health
Use synonyms
 and than of others.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 example:
mone
the most common medium of exchange; functions as legal tender
money
mean
moon
 people have
few
Suggestion
little
time
Use synonyms
 to prepare meals
and and
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 they prefer
sometime
Suggestion
some time
 to go
on
Suggestion
to
 McDonalds or bars just
for
Suggestion
to
 take a quick sandwich and big
drink
Use synonyms
. So, another reason beyond
time
Use synonyms
 is the
addiction
Use synonyms
 it causes. Various studies show the
addiction
Use synonyms
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 depends on some companies, because thanks
sugar
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
 their companies make more money.
This
Linking Words
addiction
Use synonyms
have
Suggestion
has
 some
health
Use synonyms
 risk and some states like USA
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believes
believed
 that putting taxes like alcohol and cigarettes could lower
sugar
Use synonyms
 addicts. People need to read the instruction behind
drink
Use synonyms
 and choose
alternative healt
Suggestion
an alternative health drink
alternative health drink
alternative hot drink
drink
Use synonyms
 primarily for kids. In conclusion, we must better manage our
time
Use synonyms
 and know what we
drink
Use synonyms
 and eat.
day
Suggestion
Day
, there is vast consumption of
sugar
Use synonyms
 drinks, is included in our routine,
although
Linking Words
 everyone knows the bad
effect
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
sugar but
Accept comma addition
sugar, but
 they neglect causes a negative
effect
Use synonyms
 on their
health
Use synonyms
 and than of others.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 example:
mone
the most common medium of exchange; functions as legal tender
money
mean
moon
 people have little
time
Use synonyms
 to prepare meals and they prefer some
time
Use synonyms
 to go to McDonalds or bars just to take a quick sandwich and big
drink
Use synonyms
. So, another reason beyond
time
Use synonyms
 is the
addiction
Use synonyms
 it causes. Various studies show the
addiction
Use synonyms
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 depends on some companies, because thanks
sugar
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
 their companies make more money.
This
Linking Words
addiction
Use synonyms
 has some
health
Use synonyms
 risk and some states like USA believe that putting taxes like alcohol and cigarettes could lower
sugar
Use synonyms
 addicts. People need to read the instruction behind
drink
Use synonyms
 and choose an alternative
health
Use synonyms
drinkdrink
Suggestion
drink drink
 primarily for kids. In conclusion, we must better manage our
time
Use synonyms
 and know what we
drink
Use synonyms
 and eat.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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