IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some young people are leaving the country side to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

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Humans have always migrated to different places in search of better opportunities. But, in the
last
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 few decades, human migration to cities
have
Change the verb form
has
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 increased by many folds, leaving old
people
Use synonyms
 to fend for themselves. In
this
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 essay, I shall discuss the reasons behind it and what could governments do
alleviate
Fix the infinitive
to alleviate
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this
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 issue. One of the main reasons
people
Use synonyms
 move to cities is in search of jobs. Compared to
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 few generations, the current ones are more
college educated
Add a hyphen
college-educated
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 and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 specialized in specific fields. Rural
areas
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 don't generally have a lot of jobs other than farming, health care and education. But
in contrast
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, jobs in urban
areas
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 are a lot more diversified.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that most of the industries are concentrated towards
areas
Use synonyms
 surrounding cities.
This
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 will lead to higher population density in
such
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 regions which will in turn
opens
Correct subject-verb agreement
open
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 up a lot more supporting job opportunities like restaurants, supermarkets, public transportation etc. Governments need to actively work to fix the concentration of
people
Use synonyms
 in selected regions. One of the primary things they can do is to encourage big businesses to invest in rural
areas
Use synonyms
. Since most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies pay their employees based on the cost of living of the location they are in, starting offices or factories in
Add an article
the country
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country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
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 would mean they need to spend less.
Secondly
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, local authorities could incentivize
people
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 to stay back in underdeveloped regions.
For example
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, many countries give citizenship to immigrants if they agree to live and work in remote
areas
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.
To conclude
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, human migration is a huge problem faced by many countries, but some of them are actively trying to fix it. Hopefully, by
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 generation, we will see a more evenly distributed population density and wealth.

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task response
Improve the relevance to the task by addressing all aspects of the prompt. Ensure that the essay clearly responds to the question and provides a comprehensive analysis of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Create a clearer logical structure throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected to the next and that ideas are developed coherently.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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