IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (eg cost, environment). Discuss both view and give your own opinion

#people #governments #money #transport #priorities #eg #cost #environment
Some
people
 argue that spending money on faster forms of public transportation is important as opposed to spending money on other vital aspects .
This
 essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion . On the one hand , providing
people
 with faster means of public transportation would bring certain benefits . By adopting
this
 method,those of us
especiallly
Correct your spelling
especially
 who are commuters , will reduce time for travelling from work and to work .
This
 means that they will have more free time ,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 thereby enhancing their productivity at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 .
Additionally
 ,
people
 are less packed in cramped and hot buses . They will not need to rush to arrive at work on time and get up early so as to wait for a bus station . or eventually
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 a seat on a bus .
On the other hand
 , a number of reasons lead to the
improtance
Correct your spelling
importance
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
further
 investment in other priorities . One of the compelling reasons is environmental problems .
Due to
 an increasing number of personal vehicles , large quantities of carbon dioxide are being released into the atmosphere,causing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the degradation of air quality , which is considered to be a significant contributor to a variety of respiratory diseases. Another crucial problem is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 high cost of living ,making many
people
 have to cover
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
basic daily needs .
That is
 to say ,
this
 may lead to not only a decrease in economic growth but
also
 other serious problems . In conclusion , I believe that improving the speed of public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 is advantageous for
people
 .
However
 , investing money in environmental issues and living expenses should be taken
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
priority
Correct article usage
a priority
show examples
 .
Submitted by hoabinhdoanxuan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: