IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is this positive or negative development?

#people #money #development
There are different views about
long term trip
Suggestion
a long term trip
 to experience word after high
school
. Some young students believe that travelling abroad for one
year
 would open their minds and improves their practical knowledge, On the other side, some
believes
Suggestion
believe
 spend a
year
 during the most active and energetic times of youth in travelling is not acceptable and does not make any sense. In my opinion a
gap
year
 travelling should be taken before students will involve in true
live
Suggestion
life
,
this
 could help them to choose suitable university subjects or apply proper jobs wisely. It is nice if the test of experience applied, graduated at high
school
 generally means you have learned some theoretical courses and it is hard to use them in the real word, being far from family and facing other cultures is a very good way to gain new skills or knowledge, but a
year
 should be planned carefully to avoid any waste of time and money. It should be mentioned, perhaps there is no
second
 chance to enjoy a
year
 travel in whole life so it is worth it to try.
However
, many students returning from a break in academic study find it very difficult to adjust to university activities and may end their study because of enjoying their daily life, or waste their
gap
year
 in worthless activities.
Gap
-
year
 students are a
year
 behind their
high-
a public secondary school usually including grades 9 through 12
highschool
school
 friends and have forgotten many of the lessons learned in
school
. There are
also
 many high
school
 students who start a
gap
-
year
 with good intentions, but fail to a worthwhile activity and end up wasting their time. In conclusion, I believe that a
gap
year
 travelling could be measured as
second
 part of high
school
 education, which provides students with a different kind of learning to open their minds for future planning based on real knowledge so the benefits of
gap
 years in outweigh the problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Submitted by mohamad_saniee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: