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Writing Samples
Band 7

Task 1: The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.

Task 1: The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.
#information #age #women #australia #birth #first #child
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The chart compares the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 that gave birth to their
first
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 child of different ages in Australia in three years 1966,1986 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of
women
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 who had
the
Change the word
their
show examples
first
Use synonyms
 baby aged 30 or under followed an upward trend, the proportion of
first
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-time
mothers
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 who fall into
30
Correct article usage
the 30
show examples
 to above 40 age group experienced an adverse pattern. In 1966, the rate of 20 to 24-year-old
first
Use synonyms
-time
mothers
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 ranked
first
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, at more than 60%, followed by the ratio of 25-to-30-year-old
first
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-time
mothers
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 and the proportion of
women
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 who had their
first
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 baby when they are 19 or under, at nearly 40% and 35%, respectively. About 13% of 30-to-34-year-old
women
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 gave birth to their
first
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 child, being nearly double for 34-to-39-year-old
first
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-time
mothers
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, at 7%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the data of
first
Use synonyms
-time
mothers
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 who fall into
30
Correct article usage
the 30
show examples
 to above 40 age group witnessed
gradually
Correct article usage
a gradually
show examples
 increased throughout the period, from 13% to 50%, from 7% to 30% and from 2% to 5%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of
first
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-time
mothers
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 aged 19 and under and 20-to-24-year-old
first
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-time
mothers
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 dropped significantly in 2006, to 15% and 35%, respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the figure for
first
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-time
mothers
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 who fall into the 25 to 30 age group decreased to 45% in 2006 after climbing to 55% in 1986
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, first, mothers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic changes
  • first-time mothers
  • age bracket
  • fertility rate
  • childbearing age
  • socioeconomic factors
  • educational attainment
  • healthcare advancements
  • family planning
  • societal norms
  • trend analysis
  • delaying motherhood
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