In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents' home once they finish school.They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #parents #home #school #friends #development

In many nations, young people decide to move out once they graduate from school and share a rented place with friends. In my opinion,

this

has both benefits and drawbacks.

(

Accept space

(

thesis

Suggestion

Thesis

statement) Living by themselves helps young people to become more independent.

First

, they will learn the value of

money

management. As they are given

money

to pay for bills

such

as the rent, electricity bills, telephone fees and food. If they overspent on food they would not be able to pay for other bills.

Second

, they will learn how to manage time. Living on their own,

in addition

to study/work, playing and sleeping, young people have to do the cooking and washing themselves. If they overslept or overplayed, they would have to go without food or clean clothes. So they have to plan a timetable and follow it.

However

, young people usually feel lonely. When they finish a day of work/study, they often return to their house, with no loved ones to share the good news as well as problems.

Second

, they can easily play with

wrong friends

Suggestion

the wrong friends

and may become addicted to drugs and alcohol. If they do not manage

money

carefully/wisely, they will probably not have enough

money

to pay the rent, which may result in being evicted.

Then

they will probably need to borrow

money

. A big debt may push them into doing things illegally,

selling

Suggestion

Selling

drugs. In conclusion, school leavers moving out of their parents’ house to start living on their own will possibly help them to become more independent.

However

, the drawbacks of

this

should not be overlooked.

Fri Mar 13 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents' home once they finish school.They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

In recent years, “responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries have embraced tourism as a way to boost their economies and create jobs for local residents . However ,some argue that tourism can have negative impacts on the environment and local cultures. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism for a country?