IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Wealth does not necessarily guarantee happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some people think that possession of
money
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 does not guarantee of
happiness
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.I completely agree with the given statement because there are several other factors
such
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 as good health and family relations which are responsible to keep a
person
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 happy. To commence with
,
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,
there are many reasons to go in favour of
given
Suggestion
giving
statement
Suggestion
a statement
.
Firstly
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,
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,
health is a crucial factor to be a happy
person
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 in
life
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.
For example
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,
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,
a
billoioniare
a very rich person whose material wealth is valued at more than a billion dollars
billionaire
 cannot enjoy his
life
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 if he is
suffereing
a state of acute pain
suffering
 with
serious health issue
Suggestion
serious health issues
a serious health issue
,
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,
such
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 as cancer and his wealth cannot save him.
Secondly
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,
money
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 looks worthless in those families where there is no cordial relation exists between family members.
In other words
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,
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,
No
money
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 can reduce the stress between their relations.
Also
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, a
person
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 can enjoy his
life
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 to the fullest only if they have moral support from their relatives.Recent research has shown that the divorce rates are very low in poor families as compared to rich
family which
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family, which
 means
money
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doesnot
Suggestion
does not
 play any role to keep married couple happy.
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on
Suggestion
On
 the other hand, Some
peple
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believes
money
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 is directly linked to
happiness
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 because they can buy all the luxuries of
life
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 with
money
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 only.
However
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, they are not aware
from
Suggestion
of
 the fact that
money
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 can give us temporary
happiness
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 by feeding our materialistic deeds
.
Accept space
.
In contrast
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,
happiness
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 originates from
soul
Suggestion
the soul
 and its effects are long lasting
.
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.
 In conclusion
,
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,
happiness
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 does not come with
money
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. I agree with
this
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 because many others important factors are responsible to keep
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person
Suggestion
people
a person
the person
happy
Suggestion
happier
 rather than only having
money
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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