IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behavior #action
Nowadays, demand of people is increasing significantly, which can be the essential goods or unnecessary for them.
Thus
, some people spend their money too much than they should be for consuming things which they favour.
This
 essay discusses the causes and the possible solution to solve it.
First
 of all, most people get into debt for buying the necessary things starting with the high based cost
such
 as cars, houses, and condominiums.
For example
, some people get into a liability for buying land to do their business which can afford later with the benefit that they gain from the job.
On the other hand
, luxury goods, which are not imperative for most people, are bought by expensive tasted population with a high rate of cost,
hence
 someone can have an indebtedness by spending cash with these kind of things
such
 as decoration and jewels.
On the contrary
, some people can prevent
this
 behaviour by fund management, which is the table presenting about their income which they spend.
For example
, my parents use
this
 table to calculate amount of capital that they can use monthly.
Moreover
, thinking about the necessity before buying is very good idea to stop
this
 behaviour. From my experience, I always think about the benefits that I can get from the goods before I buy it. In summary, people who spend too much to gain something that they cannot get at that time and get into debt.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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