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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
The diagram below shows the average
hours
Use synonyms
 of unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 done by people in different categories. In
this
Linking Words
 statement, the claimer said unpaid
work
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 refers to activities
such
Linking Words
 as childcare at home, housework and gardening. The graph bars show three classifications
such
Linking Words
 as, without
children
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, with one to two
children
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 and people with more than three
children
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.
Married
Change preposition
For married
show examples
Women
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 without
children
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 unpaid
work
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 per
week
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 is 30
hours
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 and
men
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 are about 20
hours
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 of unpaid
work
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 per
week
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. Married
women
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 with one to two
children
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 are about 50 and the time spent
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 is still 50
hours
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 per
week
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. More unpaid
work
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 per
week
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 when more than three
women
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 have
children
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 It is 60
hours
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 per
week
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. But married
men
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 here are still less than 20
hours
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 per
week
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. We can find the times change in married
women
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 more than in married
men
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.
Men
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 almost change with any amount of
children
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, work, week, children, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • demographics
  • household responsibilities
  • societal expectations
  • norms
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • contributions
  • family structure
  • cultural implications
  • social implications
  • work-life balance
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