IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

The best way to ensure the growth of children is to make parents take parenting courses. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #children #parents #courses
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of the parents’ most important responsibilities is perhaps taking good care of their offspring. It is believed that it should be compulsory for all mums and dads to take parenting courses so that they are better prepared for parenthood. While I accept that
such
Linking Words
 classes are beneficial, I do not agree that they should be mandatory. On the one hand, parents would benefit a great deal from parenting classes.
First
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 courses provide mothers and fathers with in-depth knowledge about how to raise a kid at different developmental stages. Parents who decide to take parenting courses will have a better understanding of their children’s needs;
hence
Linking Words
, they can take the best care of them.
Second
Linking Words
, mums and dads in parenting classes are equipped with basic medical training to deal with emergency situations more effectively.
For instance
Linking Words
,
first
Linking Words
 aid training teaches parents what to do if their child has a high fever or a breathing issue.
Similarly
Linking Words
, many parents have a great deal of trouble dealing with troublesome teenagers who are misbehaving while going through adolescence. Despite
such
Linking Words
 benefits of taking part in parenting courses or workshops, I believe that they should not be compulsory.
This
Linking Words
 is because many parents, especially those who struggle financially, have to work overtime, in the evenings or even at weekends, just to make ends meet. Forcing them to attend those classes would adversely affect their work and their lives.
In addition
Linking Words
, many people would argue that parenting is an innate skill that every mother and father can naturally access once they have a child.
For example
Linking Words
, many mothers instinctively know how to hold and care for their child as soon as it is born.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many people have their own ideas about what good parenting involves due to their own upbringing, and cultural influences.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think that parents should be free to decide whether or not they want to participate in these courses
instead
Linking Words
 of being forced to do so. In conclusion, in spite of some benefits that parenting classes offer, I believe that they should be optional rather than compulsory.
Submitted by Nguyen05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: