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Many developed countries now have large numbers of people over the age of 65. What problems might this cause? How can the problems be solved?

#countries #numbers #people #age
majority
Suggestion
The majority
Majority
 of
developed
Suggestion
developing
 countries the large portion of their populations is over
age
Suggestion
the age
 of 65
this
 situation is causing the countries some economic problems. In many developed countries the population is getting older and the rate of birth is becoming lower every year
.
Accept space
.
As a result
this
 could become problematic for
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 and the society
.
Accept space
.
For example
 the problem
are
Suggestion
is
 the number of people in the work force is becoming less,
also
 there are so many retired that the country needs to provide them with
monthly salary
Suggestion
a monthly salary
 and health benefit.
As a result
this
 could put a lot of financial pressure on
economy
Suggestion
the economy
. The
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 big issue with ageing population is the health problem. As the people become older their health will
decline
Suggestion
decline, therefore
therefore
, they need so much medical attention all of
this
 could put additional pressure in the
economy
 of the country.
However
, There are some solutions to some of
this
plural of "this"
these
 problems
.
Accept space
.
For example
 in china so many parents live with their children. Children can take
care
 of their parents and it would cost less economically to live separately
consequently
 grandparents can take
care
 of their grandchildren
therefore
, The parents do not need to spend so much money on day
care
 and
also
 they are more relaxed because they know their children are not
at
Suggestion
in
 the hands of strangers.
in
Suggestion
In
conclusion if
Accept comma addition
conclusion, if
 the younger generation and older generation work together and take
care
 of each other not only is
best
Suggestion
better
 for your concise
also
 its good for the
economy
.
Submitted by sukhsandhu59507 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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