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Writing Samples
Band 4

For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and Math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skills be made as fourth skill to the list. To what extent do you agree?

#centuries #parts #education #math #advent #computers #people #computer #skills #skill #list
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Skills
Use synonyms
such
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 as reading, writing and math
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 considered
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apply
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as
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apply
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the primary disciplines for over 100 years, but with
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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The
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apply
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invention of
computers
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, some people believe that
computer
Use synonyms
 education ought
Fix the infinitive
to be
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be
Fix the infinitive
to be
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 added to the primary
skill
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 sets. In my opinion, I agree that
computer
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 teaching should be made
as
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 mandatory subject
in addition
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 to the main
skills
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. A good reason to add
computer
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skill
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 is that it dominates almost all the job industries, especially in space, banking And health care.
For instance
Linking Words
,
computers
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 are getting widely used from
a
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apply
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small
supermarket
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supermarkets
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 to highly advanced space centres.
In other words
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, an employer seeks
computer
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 talent as the prominent
one
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 even for an
entry level
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entry-level
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 job. So, without
this
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skill
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, it is difficult for any job aspirants to get
an
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apply
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employment in the market. Another good reason to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
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 knowledge is its importance in higher education. In higher education, most of the subjects are now
Use synonyms
computer based
Add a hyphen
computer-based
show examples
, and it requires basic to advanced level of knowledge. On top of that, all the research in universities is now being handled using
high computation
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high-computation
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 machines.
Therefore
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, when a student fails to possess
such
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 talent in his school,
then
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 it is extremely problematic for him to compete.
Finally
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, because of globalization,
one
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 can access
an information
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information
a piece of information
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 from any geographical location instantly using
computers
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. In order to access
those information
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that information
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 and to
further
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 explore it,
one
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 should have good
computer
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skills
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.
For example
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, a student can access all the study materials from
top class
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top-class
show examples
 universities in the United States even though he is located out of a small town in India.
Furthermore
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, from international varsities, a lot of online degree courses are available
which
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in which
show examples
 a student can compete quite easily when he knows about
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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. In conclusion,
computers
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 play a huge role in almost every single field, and primary
skills
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 are not sufficient for
one
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 to succeed in a career.
Therefore
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, it is
Essential
Fix capitalization
essential
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 to add
computer
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Use synonyms
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 as
one
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 of the
must
Correct your spelling
most
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learn
Wrong verb form
learned
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Use synonyms
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in
school
Add an article
the school
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 curriculum.
Submitted by mailmisterk on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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