IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenage should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interest. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #focus #interest
In the modern world, while many pupils are focusing on learning all subjects in order to achieve higher average marks, others think that they should only concentrate on their biased courses. From my perspective, I did believe that students must study every subject as they might need them someday.
To begin
 with, it is undoubtedly true that learning every single subject will do you good.
Firstly
, it will provide you a huge amount of fundamental and basic knowledge in different spheres which is a cornerstone for each individual to reach the peak of glory. Another advantage of
this
 is that you would become more intellectual since it will enrich your intelligence.
For example
, as we all know that the more you learn, the smarter you will be.
Last
 but not least, having a wide range of understanding in various fields might aid you cultivate people’s interest.
For instance
, every girl like an intelligent guy, on account of
this
, they will admire him or prefer to talk with him.
On the other hand
, focusing on their favourite or gifted subjects might possibly have a positive effect on people.
This
 idea indeed will make youngsters enjoy their learning more and get motivated to study.
For example
, students who don’t good at some topics will no longer have to worry about
this
 as they don’t need to force themselves to learn so hard anymore.
Hence
, in order to have a job in the future, they should develop their personal skills. In conclusion, as I have said in the beginning, I think that teenagers not only should learn in every area, but they can
also
 spend more time with their gifted one.
Submitted by maioanhv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: