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Question: Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#computer #education #people #trend #consequences
Nowadays, by developing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new-fledged technologies,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 are used as a new method of
education
. Some individuals think that
computer
 has some benefits,
however
, others believe that
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of
this
 trend are more. There are rational reasons for the given statements which will be discussed in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, followed by my point of view. On the one side, the main reason for
this
 is that online programs are
determining
Correct article usage
a determining
show examples
 factor
for
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in
show examples
 utilizing
computers
 for
education
.
To simply
Change preposition
Simply
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 put, There are several issues that teachers may need to employ online programs to facilitate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational activities. Take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distance learning as an example; new technologies
such
 as
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 enhance the quality of
education
 in distance learning by using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them for online classes,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 an exam and solving problems.
Moreover
, using
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
 for studying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soft
copy
Fix the agreement mistake
copies
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 of books by
computers
 is more likely to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefit
to
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apply
show examples
the environment
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a paper
by publish
Wrong verb form
publishing
show examples
 hard copy
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Thus
, the more
employing
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 for taking
in
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apply
show examples
courses, the better
consequence
Correct article usage
the consequence
show examples
 on the quality of learning.
On the other hand
,
however
, the opposite view asserts that
disadvantage
Correct article usage
the disadvantage
show examples
 of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
education
 should not be ignored.
To begin
 with, the main argument is that concentration on utilizing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
computers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 less.
That is
 to say, when students
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 by
computers
, they lose their focus on the subject to some extent. A good illustration
for
Change preposition
of
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this
 is games which are more available on every
computer
 and some instructors, especially young students, are more likely to play them
on
Change preposition
during
show examples
 studying time as well.
Hence
, not only are not
computers
 rewarding to concentration, but
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 may affect their studying as well.
To conclude
, there are valid reasons on both sides of the controversy,
however
, it is my firm opinion that attention should be paid to
employ
Wrong verb form
employing
show examples
computers
 for the sake of
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of new methods to improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of teaching followed by help to fast learning.
Submitted by f_shahbazi on

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task response
The essay adequately discusses both views, but the response could be more comprehensive by providing deeper insight and more relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is clear, but work on providing a stronger framework for the arguments. The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be more developed and linked to the main content of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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