The two pie charts illustrate why British do migration to and from during a question period.

#two #british #migration #period

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The two pie charts illustrate some contributing factors which led to immigration and emigration of

people

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in the year 2007 in the

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Overall

Linking Words

, what can be observed from the charts is that a bulk of

people

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migrated in order to find a definite occupation. Looking at the detail, the proportion of

people

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who immigrated and emigrated to accompany someone was 15% and 13% respectively. More than a quarter of immigrants (26%) stated educational purpose as a main reason

whereas

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a very small number of the British (4%) left the

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to pursue formal study. About 30% of

people

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both immigrated to and emigrated from the

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to have a definite job.

Furthermore

Linking Words

percentage

Correct article usage

the percentage

show examples

of emigrants who went from the

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seeking

for

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apply

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jobs was 10% higher than

proportion

Add an article

the proportion

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of immigrants for the same factor.

However

Linking Words

, more than one in twenty

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

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didn’t mention any reason why they came to the

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and the ratio for emigrants was 18%.

Finally

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, the percentage of

people

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who indicated other causes for immigration was 11%

while

Linking Words

the proportion of emigration for that was 14%.

Submitted by severceferli68 on Mon Mar 16 2020

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, uk with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

182 words

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The two pie charts illustrate why British do migration to and from during a question period.

in the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Show advantage and disadvantage

Some people think that mothers should spend most of their time raising their family, and therefore the government should support them financially. Do you agree or disagree?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture.We can learn as much as from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and diseases, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree.