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Band 7

Improvements in health, education and trade essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#improvements #health #education #trade #development #nations #governments #responsibility #areas
It is important to create an equal development across the globe. It is debatable whether developing poor countries
becomes
Suggestion
become
 their authority or others. To my perspective, opulent nations should partake to solve poorer nation problems’ because they have more resource to deal with the challenge.
First
 of all, Rich countries have more funds to assist poor nation programs' in building infrastructure, reducing poverty and improving the quality of human resources.
For example
, Australian Government gives scholarship to Indonesian Citizens. By studying abroad, people from developing countries will get more knowledge and build their networking. So that, after finishing their study, they go back to their country and apply what they have learnt.
Additionally
, building infrastructure is essential to open isolate areas so local inhabitants have a chance to go somewhere and do economic activities. Regarding with
this
, poorer nations do not have enough budget.
Therefore
, money grant from
developed
Suggestion
developing
 countries become a good way to deal with the problems.
On the other hand
, because of the assistance,
this
 sometimes makes the poorer less independent. They do not think to manage their local resource properly and only consider about the grant. I
For example
,
instead
 of managing their local tourism place, local people prefer to
asking
Suggestion
ask
 help from other stakeholder to manage it. To sum up, I believe that it would be great for developed countries to help poor countries in dealing with crucial problems
such
 as poverty and education.
This
 means the responsibility becomes both countries. Government,
private sector
Suggestion
the private sector
 and societies should be aware to solve the issue together.
Submitted by maugery22 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • underdeveloped nations
  • economic disparity
  • global cooperation
  • moral obligation
  • historical exploitation
  • interconnected world
  • economic stability
  • quality of life
  • trade relationships
  • humanitarian aid
  • capacity building
  • dependency syndrome
  • sustainable development
  • bilateral agreements
  • economic priorities
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