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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the percentages of people in different age groups to the gym at least once a month in Europe from 1998 to 2018 and the projection

the graph below shows the percentages of people in different age groups to the gym at least once a month in Europe from 1998 to 2018 and the projection
The line graph compares the percentage of people in different age
groups
Use synonyms
 who went to the gym at least once a month in Europe from 1998 to 2018 and the projection. The percentage of the group of 44 to 53
years
Use synonyms
 old
is almost keep
Change the verb form
almost keeps
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 stably which only rise about 3% in 20
years
Use synonyms
. The group of 34 to 43
years
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increased gradually in 20
years
Use synonyms
, but the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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the proportion of 34 to 43
years
Use synonyms
 is higher than the 44 to 53 one. What’s more, it is predicted that the trend of
34
Correct article usage
the 34
show examples
 to 43 group will grow faster than the other one. The
groups
Use synonyms
 of 24 to 33
years
Use synonyms
 old and 18 to 23
years
Use synonyms
 old
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased rapidly in total.
In
Change preposition
From
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 1998 to 2010,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 two
groups
Use synonyms
 all keep the scale between 15 to 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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although
Linking Words
 have a
slight
Replace the word
slightly
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
. In summary, the trend of the percentage of gym goers in four age brackets is increasing.
According to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 graph, it is easy to
found
Wrong verb form
find
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 that the proportion of the age
groups
Use synonyms
 which
less
Add a missing verb
are less
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 than 33
years
Use synonyms
 old is higher than
Correct pronoun usage
those which
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which
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 than 33
years
Use synonyms
 old.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words groups, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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