Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workes deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

A standard
age
to conclude definitely the labour period (65
for example
) is considered unfair for certain demographics of society, because they think that some
employeers
a person or firm that employs workers
employers
employees
employer
have the right to retire and receive a pension at an earlier
age
.
However
, I do not agree with that, for the reason that the health has had several advances in the
last
two decades.
Hence
, a person with is 65 years still looks like very good and they can be a great help to the workplace. Nowadays, population in developed countries is majority elder.
Therefore
, governments spend many resources to support the health of
this
group of individuals. The retirement is not always a good option for who have spent their entire life in a workplace, rather
this
situation could create more psychological problems. In fact, the end of a labour era, cause in some cases depressions,
as a result
that these workers do not know what doing with their time, because their life was the job. In my opinion, all kinds of workers, independent of their gender, ought have the same pension.
For instance
, currently in Chile, the individuals that belong to the army have earlier retire.
This
situation is unfair, because I consider that these sorts of jobs do not have a great contribution to society. Another case is the women, they in
this
country finish their labour world with 60 years, which is not fair, because nowadays we fight for the equality for men and women, so the
correct
Suggestion
correction
correctness
is that everyone would have their pension at the same
age
. In conclusion, a group of the population considers that retirement should be different for some works. But I do not agree for the reason that the work is part essential of the one person, so if decrease the
age
, probably, would be
a
Suggestion
an
economic problem for the government and perhaps a trouble for our health.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: