It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than that of young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

There is a prediction that the ratio between the elderly and the young generation will not be equal anymore in the future, specifically, the percentage of the older generation will be higher than the youth. Personally, I totally follow the idea that
this
is a negative transformation. A higher in the older generation will lead to several problems. The worth mentioning here is that the balance of trade in the
country
will be broken since it is lack of workforce. To be
more specifically
Suggestion
more specific
, the more the elderly is, the higher demand asked
such
as physiological needs or medical needs, whereas, there are not enough labours to produce the products required
since
Suggestion
for
that
country
just have a small number of young people who are the main factor contributing to each national economy,
in other words
, that
country
is lack of supply.
Therefore
, the demand
can not
can not
cannot
meet the supply which
can beget
Suggestion
can get
can be get
can be gotten
can be got
many cases
such
as conflicts or chaos, making that
country
’s economy worsen day by day.
Moreover
, the more the older people
are the
Accept comma addition
are, the
more fund needed. To illustrate, the government in any
country
always has some capitals for subsidizing or providing insurances for the elderly. From
this
point, if there are too
much
Suggestion
many
people need those sources, the authority
can not
can not
cannot
provide
immediately
Suggestion
immediate
because there
is
Suggestion
are
have been
just a minority of younger people who can make money and contribute to the government through taxes.
Consequently
, the lack of money can lead to many problems
such
as debt loaned from others or unbalance of money supplement, are the cause of economic eruption. In conclusion, the higher proportion of the elders requires that
country
must have the strongest financial background to serve them. I do not deny the benefit that
this
development will
brink
take something or somebody with oneself somewhere
bring
back but
Accept comma addition
back, but
as for me,
this
growth
definitely have
Suggestion
definitely has
has definitely had
many bad impacts on any nation.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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