2.In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard? Why people work harder in academics and employment?

Some people
work
extremely
hard
Suggestion
harder
than other individuals in different disciplines like education and employment.
This
essay will discuss the reasons why people
work
hard, and suggest working extremely hard is not good as it will disturb the personal relationships with the family members. The main reason why people sweat so hard in academics and
work
environment is they want to achieve success in their life.
That is
to say that when people invest their valuable
time
and put the extra effort in academics and jobs they are far
likely
Suggestion
more likely
to achieve excellent grades in school and at
work
and
this
rewards them with a successful job and career.
For example
, research by The Guardian showed that the reason why Steve Jobs became the CEO of
Apple is
Accept comma addition
Apple, is
that he worked exceedingly
hard
Suggestion
harder
than the other employees in the company.
However
, working exceedingly hard can disturb the relationships in the family.
In other words
, a few professions
requires
Suggestion
require
people to
work
consistently
work
hard and travel to different countries and
this
leaves them very little personal space and
time
for family and leisure activities and
this
can damage the bonding with his/her spouse and children.
For example
, research by The New Times showed that the majority of the Mixed-Martial-Arts fighters were divorced before the age of thirty because they spent less
time
with family and most of their
time
in the gym training and attending pay-per-view events. To conclude, working extra hard can reward a few people with successful careers, but working hard can leave them a very little
time
personal space for family which can damage the family bonding
.
Accept space
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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