IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #development
The travel industry, as of now, is growing fast, especially in developing countries. The main reason can be that
tourism
 generates a lot of profits and
thus
, is one of the most important economic sectors.
However
, in my opinion,
this
 development might indicate some negative aspects of these nations. On the one hand,
tourism
 activities are promoted in developing countries because they offer great economic benefits. As these activities get popular, people from other local towns and countries don't only come to visit but
also
 invest.
This
 will lead to new constructions, new businesses and
as a result
, more employment opportunities for the local people. More jobs are created and the amount of income tax rises, contributing to the government’s budget, which as a whole can substantially improve the living standards of people and strengthen the country’s economy.
For example
, in the past two years, Carpentaria Shire in Queensland has seen a rise in household income after
tourism
 activities were promoted and grew popular.
On the other hand
, despite the economic benefits it brings, the development of tours may act as a detriment to the local environment. The construction of
tourism
 facilities like hotels can drastically change the landscape of one area.
Tourism
 puts enormous stress on local land use, and can lead to soil erosion, increased pollution, natural habitat loss, and more pressure on endangered species. These effects can gradually destroy the environmental resources on which
tourism
 itself depends.
For example
, Bali is hardly a tropical paradise as it used to be. Due to mass
tourism
, Kuta Beach has become a nightmare with trash everywhere, inviting rats to feast there day and night. Overall, I believe the financial advantages that
tourism
 offers is undoubtedly the main reason why developing countries are expanding
this
 industry.
Nevertheless
, without proper maintenance procedures,
this
 development can be troublesome in the long run.
Submitted by Nguyen05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: