Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to the increased
life
Use synonyms
expectancy, many people think that
this
Linking Words
should lead to a higher retirement age. I agree with
this
Linking Words
statement, I think elderly expertise is highly beneficial for the young inexperienced generation.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, after having spent a significant amount of time dedicated to hard work, resting is much needed and advised for a happy and healthier
life
Use synonyms
. After having worked for long years in one field they have mastered every aspect of a specific job.
This
Linking Words
knowledge is important and must be transmitted to following work force.
For instance
Linking Words
, the more time someone has invested in his occupation the more different scenarios has he witnessed,
Linking Words
therefore has
Accept comma addition
therefore, has
also
Linking Words
found a solution to provide to others that may encounter similar difficulties.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many blue
collars
Suggestion
collar
professions require a lot of energy and
a
Suggestion
an
active
Use synonyms
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
.
This
Linking Words
does not
suit
be seated
sit
well with the older generation because according to
studies it might
Suggestion
studies, it might
lead to health problems like muscular pain, or other complications. In some certain occasions
this
Linking Words
can be combined with sleep deprivation and worsen health problems even more. To avoid
this
Linking Words
, some certain professions should have an earlier retirement age, leaving time for energy regeneration but
also
Linking Words
to pursue their hobbies. That being said, seniors should spend the remaining years of
life
Use synonyms
engaged in activities that bring joy and make them feel relaxed. They should not only rest in order to gain their
strength but
Accept comma addition
strength, but
also
Linking Words
to enjoy other aspects of
life
Use synonyms
.
In other
Linking Words
words to
Accept comma addition
words, to
pursue that one passion they were not able to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
when working for long hours. To conclude, it is important to have someone more experienced to guide youngsters
on
Suggestion
in
doing things the correct way and how it is more acceptable and beneficial. In certain
professions
Accept comma addition
professions, however
however
Linking Words
, early retirement would create more space for hobbies and prevent some profession linked diseases.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: