IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in France in 1950 and 2010

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in France in 1950 and 2010
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts point out the average proportion of the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 which was spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 various family needs in France in two years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is indicated that the percentage of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on housing decreased significantly from 1950 to 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, spending for each household on food, other and transportation categories rose. At the same time, there was only a slight change in the percentage of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on education and health care
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1950 and 2010. Spending in the housing category, which made up approximately three quarters in 1950, fell sharply to form only nearly one-fifth of the total expenses in 2010. The food section, which
also
Linking Words
 had a significant change, went up to 34% in 2010 from a little over one-tenth in 1950.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
money
Use synonyms
 spent on other needs and transportation increased from less than 5% each to 19.2% and 14%, respectively. The education and
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
 categories had a small change. To elaborate, the
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
 category, which made up 2.4% in 1950, had a 2.1% increase.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the education category, which was
initially
Linking Words
 6.6% of total spending in 1950, had just a 0.3% decrease.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words money with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: