IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

#people #hobby #trend
In recent years, shopping is the one of the major leisure activity for many individuals.
whereas
Suggestion
Whereas
 some people are divided between the opinion that it is
regularly day
Suggestion
a regular day
regular day
today
Suggestion
to day
 habits. Notwithstanding,
this
 discourse delves into the both
perspective
Suggestion
perspectives
,
Accept space
,
and
subsequently explore
Suggestion
subsequently explores
 my point of view,
accordingly
. Apparently, the proponents, school of thought posit that Today era's
,
Accept space
,
everything is competitive and earth has shrunk
to
Suggestion
into
 a global village,
In other words
, people want to exhibit and shown up their trends
to
Suggestion
in
 worldwide.
the
Suggestion
The
 rationale behind for their argument much likely to spend maximum fund on their budget for their shopping budget. To exemplify
,
Accept space
,
in my own monthly budget, shopping has occupied maximum proportional of
fund
Suggestion
funds
the fund
.
However
, taking a look at it from the flip side of the coin, could the
contend
satisfy in a limited way
content
 of the school of thought postulated that daily chores work
are not considered
Suggestion
is not considered
 part of hobbies be absolutely right?. The follow the justification for their ground may be every individual has to fulfil their need
such
 as food
,
Accept space
,
cloth and shelter apart from their spare time
,
Accept space
,
they can spend and learn new things in that how come
shopping
Suggestion
the shopping
can be become
Suggestion
can become
 a hobby.
according
Suggestion
According
 to the survey
,
Accept space
,
leisure council of board in my country
,
Accept space
,
2010.
a
Suggestion
A
 vast majority of people
claims
Suggestion
claim
 that shopping is the part of the daily task. To conclude, having exploded on both Vantage points.
it
Suggestion
It
 is evident that both
perspective
Suggestion
perspectives
 are very much on their reasoning;
nevertheless
,
Accept space
,
they are some pitfalls as well.
although
Suggestion
Although
, personally I consent to the hilt that these days we don't have sufficient time for relaxation on that shopping play Vital role for presumably a fruitful business.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: