IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #impact #individuals #society
Nowadays widespread opinion is social
web
 pages have demolishing influence
on
Suggestion
of
 one
people
Suggestion
person
 as on
community
Suggestion
the community
. My opinion as
man
Suggestion
a man
 who grown up before
popularity
Suggestion
the popularity
 of the internet social media, strongly agree with topic view. Overall,
this
 essay shows advantages and disadvantages social
web
 for explaining my opinion.
First
, of course people cannot ignore positive facts that people with mental or physical challenges do not other ways to communicate
instead
 of social sites.
Moreover
, a social
web
 provides
wide opportunity
Suggestion
a wide opportunity
 to stay in touch with
relatives even
Accept comma addition
relatives, even
 when they are
travelled
Suggestion
travelling
, or like-minded people around the world
by
Suggestion
of
 Facebook or Twitter.
In addition
, social sites help quickly check recruitment companies or find out a new workplace by LinkedIn.
Consequently
, social
web
, at
first
 glance, is needed.
Although
 more bothering for people, especially many parents, facts that social sites like drugs after
that children
Accept comma addition
that, children
 or even adult have fewer interests to work and studying. Inasmuch as social
web
 suggested sedentary
life so
Accept comma addition
life, so
 people who use it frequently throughout
time
 have been accumulating problems with health or even sick of
hypodynamia
.
Moreover
, some people notice a degradation in communicative capabilities because people more and more
time
use not
Accept comma addition
use, not
linking
Suggestion
linked
 words or
words
Suggestion
word
 parasite
instead
 grammar speech that complicated understanding them.
Consequently
, I think we should diminish of using
web sites
a computer connected to the internet that maintains a series of web pages on the World Wide Web
websites
 to youth. In short, I am totally
agreed
Suggestion
agree
 with people who bother about influence social sites phenomena on life everybody in the future, because a lot of
time
 I observe
situation
Accept comma addition
situation, then
then
 children
instead
 of studying or walk on street spent all
time
in
Suggestion
on
web
 pages that could lead to ambiguous aftermath.
Submitted by ilua.cavchuk on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
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