Advanced medical treatments are generally expensive. People’s access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income. All people have the right to access the best medicine available

#treatments #people’s #access #health #care #level #income #people #right #medicine

It is undeniable that

health

is the most important in any circumstances and it has been hotly debated issue. Nowadays, modern medical services which have been invented are becoming costly and out of reach to the poor. Some

people support

Accept comma addition

people, support

for

this

viewpoint while others do not agree. To my mind, all people

deserve to access the

Suggestion

deserve access to the

best medicine available. On the one hand, there is nothing more precious than

health

so medical cures should be available to all people. If a country wants to get an overall development which includes

health

too, the government needs to ensure that all citizens have good physical condition.

Therefore

, all people need treating

equally

Suggestion

equals

health

care

. The poor will continue to meet trouble

Suggestion

with

finance if many medical departments preserve the high

price

or even increase it. Medical treatments must be for all people even though these people are not affordable.

Consequently

, the governments should manage strictly and make decisions to help all citizens get the best

health

care

in the hospital.

Additionally

, more and more poor persons have been taken serious diseases, especially in many rural areas. These diseases are required to have an advanced medical treatment and the patients can die in the case of lacking

this

special medical service. It is clearly unacceptable to concede that the deaths of patients are the result of lacking money to access to the advancement of medical

care

in modern society.

Moreover

, the

first

priority of treatment is that the poor must be examined and cured with the best medical

care

because

this

also

reflects the process of humanitarianism of the country.

On the other hand

, there are

also

some disadvantages when even the poor can take the best medical cures. Because of the modern of equipment and medicine used in treatment, a lot of money has been invested.

Thus it

Accept comma addition

Thus, it

is very difficult for many medical companies to reduce the

price

of treatments and medicines.

Furthermore

, there will be not enough medicine and manpower because with a low

price

, many hospitals will be full with people and more seriously, a conflict may strike. To sum up, all people should be treated equally in medical cares and medicines with

price

that is

suitable for citizens and have

preference

Suggestion

a preference

towards the poor. The governments should invest more in

health

care

more so there will be enough money to develop

Suggestion

this

area.

This

also

considered as a standard of humanitarian.

Fri Mar 20 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

407 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Advanced medical treatments are generally expensive. People’s access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income. All people have the right to access the best medicine available

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that university students should specialize in one subject, while others think universities should encourage students to learn a range of subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is generally believed that education is of vital importance to individual development and the well-being of societies. What should education consist of to fulfil both these functions?

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government responsibility. Other belive that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both view and give your own opinions.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?