IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that children under age 10 should be given their own interest subject, While others believe that should be given regular subjects. Discuss both of these views and Give your own opinion

#people #children #age #interest #subjects
In the salad days of the millennium, the society is polarised into two groups almost equally regarding the notion about whether kids at younger age study their familiar language or learn everyday language. Different people with their distinct view of mind set. The following paragraphs would shed light on both approaches before making a final note. To commence with the
first
 notion, there are myriad things to be shared within its favour. The
first
 and foremost is that studying self-interest
subject
 is more resourceful for them to understand.
As a result
, kids will improve the basic skill set based on their own knowledge.
Secondly they
Accept comma addition
Secondly, they
 will become more passionate towards the field in which they study will be useful for them prove as a successor.
For instance
, the Asian countries are the prime example, 80% of the younger generation prefer own
subject
 in order to enhance the foundation. Shifting towards
second notion
Suggestion
a second notion
the second notion
, studying of regular subjects are lead only to same method with remaining students. They will be many learning the courses are in the same template model in which does not have additional ideas for improving their own skills.
Furthermore
, the teachers
also
 have a similar way of teaching and repetitively addressing the activity issues.
Therefore children's
Accept comma addition
Therefore, children's
 should increase their ability by studying in own
subject
. Having discussed the arguments and counter arguments, I would like to infer that students could able to perform well with their own interested
subject
. To justify my state of mind, there is an instance in Punggol primary school that the students studying in primary 5 able to attain high scores than primary 6 students. To recapitulate, I personally feel that
although
 it is responsible for people to encourage study own course of
subject
, government should
also
 encourage citizens to support their children’s to learn self-interest
subject
 in the society.
Submitted by palaniboonis on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural curiosity
  • lifelong love of learning
  • specialized subjects
  • unique talents
  • independence
  • decision-making skills
  • traditional curriculum
  • well-rounded education
  • essential knowledge
  • foundational skills
  • personal development
  • informed choices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: