IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram illustrates the process is that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry

The diagram illustrates the process is that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry
#process #bricks #industry
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The given diagram
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 information about
process
Add an article
the process
show examples
 of
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
 industry
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using
manufacture
Replace the word
manufactured
show examples
bricks
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of seven steps which had been started with dig land to get clay and had been finished delivery
Firstly
Linking Words
 process
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 with using bigger to get clay and send to fabric for sorting clay used
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 metal grid and rollers. After adding sand and water
bricks
Use synonyms
 are
molded
Change the spelling
moulded
show examples
 or
cutter
Replace the word
cut
show examples
.
Fourth
Change the article
The fourth
show examples
 step is drying them
about
Change preposition
for about
show examples
 24-48 hours,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by
Correct article usage
the kiln
show examples
kiln
Change noun form
kiln's
show examples
 first moderate temperature
200°C-980
Change preposition
of 200°C-980
show examples
°C and after
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 temperature
870
Change preposition
of 870
show examples
°C - 1300°C.
Linking Words
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 opposite action is cooling
bricks
Use synonyms
 in
chamber
Add an article
the chamber
show examples
around
Change preposition
for around
show examples
 48-72 hours.
Finally
Linking Words
,
bricks
Use synonyms
 are
packaging
Wrong verb form
packaged
show examples
 and delivering
Submitted by dudosh0 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • manufacture
  • bricks
  • building industry
  • process
  • dig
  • prepare
  • clay
  • mold
  • shape
  • dry
  • fire
  • kiln
  • cool
  • package
  • fired
  • overview
  • importance
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