Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #sports #entertainment #personalities

Earning enough

money

is one of the

factor

Suggestion

factors

which people decide to embark a career. It is thought that due to the major

contribuation

the part played by a person in bringing about a result

contribution

contributions

of some professions

such

as physician, nurses or

instructros

a person whose occupation is teaching

instructors

in a society, they ought to make more

money

than

sportmen

someone who engages in sports

sportsmen

or entertainment workers. In my

opnion

a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty

opinion

, ,

Suggestion

but

such

critical occupation

shoulld

expresses an emotional, practical, or other reason for doing something

should

earn reasonable

money

. It is clear that the amount of income is pivotal when someone wish to enter a profession

Accept space

and professional workers are not

exeption

Suggestion

excepted

exception

exceptional

exceptions

. Wishing to implement a job, someone should have

money

satisfiction

the contentment one feels when one has fulfilled a desire, need, or expectation

satisfaction

more than his regular daily

requirment

required activity

requirement

requirements

or even other

skiiled

having or showing or requiring special skill

skilled

individuals.

This

is due to the fact that he must strive much in his entire life, and it is

completly

to a complete degree or to the full or entire extent

completely

rational to have a high level of

finacial

involving financial matters

financial

status

Accept space

For instance

, a surgeon or even a university professor

probably spend

Suggestion

probably spends

more than one

third

of his life to reach a position to be able to work in his

profesion

the body of people in a learned occupation

profession

Accept space

Therefore

, paying

adequete amount

Suggestion

an adequate amount

adequate amount

money

will be

act

Suggestion

acting

as a

motivetor

a positive motivational influence

motivator

to not get

disappionted

disappointingly unsuccessful

disappointed

and keep moving forward to serve better in their community. One the other hand, many

soprstmen

someone who engages in sports

sportsmen

or other

entertainmnet

an activity that is diverting and that holds the attention

entertainment

charechters

start when they are too young and might retire

soonly

. If they did not walk in the path in the childhood, the chance to succeed in would be negligible. Take a well known soccer player like

Daivid

(Old Testament) the 2nd king of the Israelites; as a young shepherd he fought Goliath (a giant Philistine warrior) and killed him by hitting him in the head with a stone flung from a sling; he united Israel with Jerusalem as its capital; many of the Psalms are attributed to David (circa 1000-962 BC)

David

Bekham for an example. He started since he was only 7 years old when at the same time the other children with the same age was enjoying their

chilhood

the time of person's life when they are a child

childhood

Moreover

, many investors and

buisinessess

a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it

businesses

invest on the professionals to make

money

resulting creating numerable jobs

Accept space

Sport professionals and others,

consequentley have

Accept comma addition

consequently, have

consequently have

a marvellous impact on

economy

Suggestion

the economy

and are worth to earn a huge amount of

money

. To

concule

postpone indefinitely or annul something that was scheduled

cancel

conceal

council

, I do consider that the role of some skilled individuals like doctors or teachers

are

Suggestion

indispensable in a society and they should have more than

avarege

approximating the statistical norm or average or expected value

average

of regular income.

However

, the effects of some careers like

sportmen

a person with great powers and abilities

superman

economy

Suggestion

the economy

could not be neglected justifying to have a high income.

Submitted by mirijamal on Sat Mar 21 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

352 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
some people believe that if people are not allowed to work after the age of 60, it cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?
The sphere of job would be changed through aging process of life. Thus, it is debated that the elderly should retire after the certain age compulsorily, and others argued that forceful retirement leads to a plethora of harmful problems. I advocate for the latter and in the following paragraph, it will be defended.
7
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
These days, many individuals want to help their children to be good members of society. Some believe parents should teach them, while others feel that school is better. In this essay, both perspectives will be discussed with examples.
8
band
Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged by some people that moral ethics need to be educated by the police, whereas others argue that families should take care of the behavioural education of their children. In my opinion, child development starts at the early stage in families and parents should be responsible for teaching what is good or bad, in addition, educational institutions should collaborate with them during the middle and high school stages.
4
band
advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. Firms are using various forms of advertising to popularize the novelty of their products to the public for additional profit
Nowadays, advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. Firms are using various forms of advertising to popularize the novelty of their products to the public for additional profit. I suspect this is a negative development that could hurt the welfare of consumers.
6
band
chools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Due to the increased prevalence of processed food items among children, health has become one of the gravest global concerns. While some individuals claim that educational institutes should address this problem, others believe that parents should take this responsibility. Nevertheless, I firmly am of the view that it is parent's primary duty to monitor their children's eating habits by actively participating in their daily routines. This essay explores the reasons supporting why a proportion of society renders the issue as the school's responsibility and why the remainder reckons otherwise.

Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

some people believe that if people are not allowed to work after the age of 60, it cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. Firms are using various forms of advertising to popularize the novelty of their products to the public for additional profit

chools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.