Throughout history, male leaders have led us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#history #leaders #violence #conflict #society

Well when

Accept comma addition

Well, when

we go those the historical background, it is very clear that women and men tried their best whenever got

chance

Suggestion

the chance

a chance

to govern and lead. Basically, there are more examples of the men who led the various activities, schemes programs and mostly end up in wars and disputes. It is reckoned by some individuals that if

this

has been led by

women it would be

Suggestion

women, it would be

clam

steadiness of mind under stress

calm

and tranquil but I completely disagree with the fact. Actually,

fact

Suggestion

the fact

is not

this

that I am against

feminism but

Accept comma addition

feminism, but

the reason is that women are soft hearted and thinks every aspect emotionally without

analyzing

consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning

analysing

the dark side of the situation. Most of the time it is seen that the women bosses are less strict as compared to the male bosses as they get easily persuaded by the excuses given the staff and trust them easily. Women

doesn’t possess

Suggestion

don’t possess

commanding nature

Suggestion

a commanding nature, hence

a commanding nature hence

hence

, the guideline

Accept space

rule and regulations made by them need more power to get implemented

moreover

, we live in patriarchal society here women always need a man at their

backend

for every act.

However

, when we look back into history the historical events are the proofs that the governance led by women

also end

Suggestion

also ends

has also ended

up in war, conflict and violent

activities

Accept comma addition

activities, for

for instance

Rani Lakshmi Bai led the war from Jhansi for

independent

Suggestion

independence

in 1847, later on

first lady prime minister

Suggestion

the first lady prime minister

of India Indira Gandhi adopted different violent means against

Sikhs religious temple

Suggestion

the Sikhs religious temple

(Golden Temple).

On the other hand

, men are more of commanding

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

therefore

, they have

different attitude

Suggestion

a different attitude

different attitudes

toward the

work

Accept comma addition

work, hence

hence

, are less prone to get satisfied with praise by any staff member or faculty. They are more not

violent but

Accept comma addition

violent, but

definitely dedicated to the work, they

taken

Suggestion

have taken

are taken

took

as responsibility. They think practically with an optimistic thinking. The struggle of independence is the example of their dedication towards the nation, no doubt it was lead violently and many

conflict

Suggestion

conflicts

occurred but it resulted in very positive output. To conclude, we can say that men

has

Suggestion

have

practical

Suggestion

practiced

thinking and stable thoughts unlike

women

Accept comma addition

women, hence

hence

, they can govern better than women as

earlier example

Suggestion

an earlier example

the earlier example

earlier examples

nowhere showcase the activities led by women ended peacefully.

Sun Mar 22 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

364 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Throughout history, male leaders have led us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

school children are using computers in school more than ever. Discuss the advantages and disadvantage of this and give your own opinions

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than the other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?