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Band 5.5

The graph shows the data about annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010

The graph shows the data about annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010
#data #earnings #three #bakeries #london
The
lie
Correct your spelling
line
show examples
 graph presents data about
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
 earnings of three
bakeries
 in London between 2000 and 2010. The information is presented in terms of 3
bakeries
 as
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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annual earnings.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the
most high
Change the adjective
highest
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term
 in the first year in all three
bakeries
 was
buns
. The least
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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bakery is
Cake
Lab
. In 2000 the
term
 of
Cake
Lab
 is 20.000
while
all
Change preposition
in all
show examples
 2 terms
Buns
 and Sofia were
50.000and
Correct your spelling
50.000 and
 60.000. Followed by
this
 between 2000 and 2004 the 2
bakeries
 of
Buns
 and
Cake
Lab
 we’re growing on few thousand,
Buns
 was 79.000
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
and
Cake
 LabCake
Lab
 was 30.000. During
this
 period the
term
 of
Cake
Lab
 has returned to the first step (20.000).
However
, Sofia was progressing
on
Change preposition
along
show examples
 the same lines till
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2006. Meanwhile, the
term
 of
Buns
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sharply decreased to 10.000. After that in 2007 the Sofia was directly increased
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 20.000.
Accordingly
this
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 year the
Cake
Lab
 was growing
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 10.000
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 the
Buns
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 including 40.000. But
at the end
 of
2010
Add a comma
,2010
show examples
 the annual earnings of three
bakeries
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
almost the same point.
Submitted by tukhtakulov98 on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bakeries, term, buns, cake, lab with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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