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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph shows the data about annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010

The graph shows the data about annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010
#data #earnings #three #bakeries #london
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The
lie
Correct your spelling
line
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 graph presents data about
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
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 earnings of three
bakeries
Use synonyms
 in London between 2000 and 2010. The information is presented in terms of 3
bakeries
Use synonyms
 as
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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annual earnings.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
most high
Change the adjective
highest
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term
Use synonyms
 in the first year in all three
bakeries
Use synonyms
 was
buns
Use synonyms
. The least
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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bakery is
Cake
Use synonyms
Lab
Use synonyms
. In 2000 the
term
Use synonyms
 of
Cake
Use synonyms
Lab
Use synonyms
 is 20.000
while
Linking Words
all
Change preposition
in all
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 2 terms
Buns
Use synonyms
 and Sofia were
50.000and
Correct your spelling
50.000 and
 60.000. Followed by
this
Linking Words
 between 2000 and 2004 the 2
bakeries
Use synonyms
 of
Buns
Use synonyms
 and
Cake
Use synonyms
Lab
Use synonyms
 we’re growing on few thousand,
Buns
Use synonyms
 was 79.000
the
Correct article usage
apply
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and
Cake
Use synonyms
 LabCake
Lab
Use synonyms
 was 30.000. During
this
Linking Words
 period the
term
Use synonyms
 of
Cake
Use synonyms
Lab
Use synonyms
 has returned to the first step (20.000).
However
Linking Words
, Sofia was progressing
on
Change preposition
along
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 the same lines till
the
Change the article
apply
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2006. Meanwhile, the
term
Use synonyms
 of
Buns
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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sharply decreased to 10.000. After that in 2007 the Sofia was directly increased
in
Change preposition
to
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 20.000.
Accordingly
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 year the
Cake
Use synonyms
Lab
Use synonyms
 was growing
in
Change preposition
by
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 10.000
,
Remove the comma
apply
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when
Correct word choice
while
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 the
Buns
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 including 40.000. But
at the end
Linking Words
 of
2010
Add a comma
,2010
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 the annual earnings of three
bakeries
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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reached
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
almost the same point.
Submitted by tukhtakulov98 on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bakeries, term, buns, cake, lab with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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