IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows data about annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010

The graph shows data about annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010
#data #earnings #three #bakeries #london
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The
Correct article usage
A
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 glance at the table reveals the data about incomes in three popular bakeries in London. In General, during the given
periods
Change to a genitive case
period's
periods'
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 earnings
in
Change preposition
apply
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considrably
Correct your spelling
considerably
 decreased the bakery of
Buns
Use synonyms
;
However
Linking Words
, the rate of profit a sharp
increase
Replace the word
increased
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 in
Sofia
Use synonyms
; There was a significant growth of incomes in
Cake
Correct article usage
the Cake
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 lab. It’s exactly seen from the lines in initial
time
Use synonyms
Buns
Use synonyms
 around 80 in the top;
However
Linking Words
, to compare with earnings in
Sofia
Use synonyms
 illustrated 60. The trend of
Buns
Use synonyms
 twice fluctuations in
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 five
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 from 2000. Followed by,
enermously
Correct your spelling
enormously
 decreased with a bit
oscillation
Change preposition
of oscillation
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 a
second
Linking Words
 five years from
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 given tense. The line of
Sofia
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
the begining
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begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
time
Use synonyms
 was around 55. And stay constant to till
2005
Change the article
the 2005
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 year from 2000. After that, an
enermous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 boom
by
Change preposition
of
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 20 in
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 3 years. The
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
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 of
Cake
Correct article usage
the Cake
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 lab in the initial
time
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 lower than other bakeries. But
at the end
Linking Words
 of
given
Correct article usage
the given
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 term came out between the given two bakeries.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
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 can
be say
Change the verb form
be said
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, the trend of
Buns
Use synonyms
 fell to the bottom, the line of
Sofia
Use synonyms
 came out
the
Change preposition
to the
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 top and
Cake
Correct article usage
the Cake
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 lab
is reached
Change the verb form
has reached
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 the middle
at the end
Linking Words
 of
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Submitted by tukhtakulov98 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, however, next".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words buns, sofia, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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