IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Writing task 1 The diagram below describes the process of the freshwater
species'
Correct your spelling
species
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, as salmonid fish, life cycle. There are 3 main steps, starting
from
Change preposition
with
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an
Correct article usage
the
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 appearance of salmon eggs and ending with adult fish.
Initially
Linking Words
, the first picture on the diagram shows a habitat place of nests for
salmons
Use synonyms
' eggs. It
is usually reeds
Change the verb form
is usually reeded
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 with a lot of stones at the roots. These plants mostly
locate
Change the form of the verb
located
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 in the upper
river
Use synonyms
, where the
river
Use synonyms
 flow is slow. It takes approximately 5-6 months for eggs to develop, after which little
salmons
Use synonyms
, called 'fry',
born
Add a missing verb
are born
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,
their
Correct word choice
and their
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 length is about 3-8 cm.
Linking Words
Next
Add a comma
,Next
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 they swim to the lower
river
Use synonyms
 and fast flowing brings them to the open sea, for 4 years, during
this
Linking Words
 time group of 'fry' turns into 'smolt', who grows in size to 12-15 cm. When 'smolts' enter the open sea, they live there for 5 years and become larger, transforming into adult
salmons
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, reaching 70-76 cm long. After a complete development
salmons
Use synonyms
 come back to the upper
river
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, where they are able to continue progeny, and
life
Correct article usage
the life
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 cycle repeats again.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmons, river with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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