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Writing Samples
Band 6

Writing task 1 The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008 Summarise the information by selecting and and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Writing task 1 The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008 Summarise the information by selecting and and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart shows information about
UK
Use synonyms
graduate
Use synonyms
 and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 who did not go full-time
work
Use synonyms
didi
Correct your spelling
did
show examples
 after leaving college in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
 if we look at the chart, we can see
Correct article usage
the inducators
show examples
inducators
Correct your spelling
indicators
 destination of
UK
Use synonyms
graduate
Use synonyms
 and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
.In
2008
Change the article
the 2008
show examples
 year was the most
popupar
Correct your spelling
popular
 Futhers study and
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
Vluntary
Correct your spelling
Voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 was far near as successful as
Futhers
Correct article usage
the Futhers
show examples
 study in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 over the period in question. Looking at the details, in Unemployment
work
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 of
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graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 there were nearly 16,235
students
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 but
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
inducator
Correct your spelling
indicator
 was
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 in
students
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
postgraduate there were nearly 1,625
students
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,
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
however
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However
Add a comma
,However
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 the number of
graduste
Correct your spelling
graduate
astudents
Correct your spelling
students
a student's
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work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in Furtherstudy job
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
two times higher than part-time
work
Use synonyms
 occupation at 29,665 and 17,735 respectively.
Moveover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
 the number of
pstgraduate
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 one times advanced than
part-times
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
work
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.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 one top
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 that
last
Linking Words
 one is Voluntary
work
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 there were 345
students
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 of postgraduate and 3,500
students
Use synonyms
 of
graduate
Use synonyms
. Well the
students
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 of
graduate
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indocator
Correct your spelling
indicator
 as most
popupar
Correct your spelling
popular
 as the
postgraduste
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
 in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in 2008

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, graduate, students, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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