IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Travellers and business people often come into contact with other cultures briefly. What are the main advantages and disadvantages of doing so?

#travellers #business #people #contact #cultures
It is widely accepted that we
are
Suggestion
were
 at the time when international relations are most. People make contact with other cultures, both during travel and as a part of their work. One of the most important advantages of
this
 is that it enhances international understanding of people.
For instance
, the communication with local people is a good
chace
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
chance
choice
case
 to explore some similarities in their culture.
This
 issue will resolve some
culturel
of or relating to the arts and manners that a group favors
cultural
 differences among nations that have been
main reason
Suggestion
a main reason
the main reason
 of distances for many years. There are
also
 some advantages for business people.
In
Suggestion
During
this
 short visit, if business people can understand
culture
Suggestion
the culture
 of that country, they will be more
successfull
having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome
successful
in
Suggestion
with
 the products they produce for that place. A good
illutration
artwork that helps make something clear or attractive
illustration
 of
this
 is
McDonald’s
Suggestion
a McDonald’s
 that has many branches all over the world
.
Accept space
.
 They produce different products according to each country’s traditional
foods
Suggestion
food
.
This
 is one of the reasons they are
prefered
more desirable than another
preferred
proffered
prepared
 by people.
On the other hand
, the main
drowbacks
the quality of being a hindrance
drawbacks
drawback
 is that
this
 experience with other cultures might be superficial and it gives to people some mistaken ideas
.
Accept space
.
For example
, they can
do
engage in
make
 generalizations about what they have experienced that are not true. Unlike
this
,
Accept space
,
 to get the right ideas about other cultures requires long time experiences and good communications with local people. To conclude, relations with other countries have some benefits about our personal improvement and for working
development
Suggestion
developers
.
However
,
Accept space
,
 we should have conscious to
having
Suggestion
have
 the right
knowladge
the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning
knowledge
 about another culture is not based on one or two limited
contact
Suggestion
contacts
.
Accept space
.
 Long-term experiences
is
Suggestion
are
necessery
absolutely essential
necessary
 to
building
Suggestion
be built
 up a good
awarness
having knowledge of
awareness
.
Submitted by tubayldzhn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: