The chart shows number of students who choose different subjects at university in 2005.

#students #subjects #university

The bar chart shows the

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

students

who chose to

study

different university

subjects

in 2005. The numbers for each subject are divided into male and female

students

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

showing some general differences between

men

's and women's choice of

subjects

. Science and maths were the most popular choices for male

students

in 2005, but non-scientific

subjects

were more popular with female

students

. The most popular

subjects

for female

students

were less technical

subjects

such

as social sciences, languages, literature and humanities. Social sciences were by far the most popular subject for women.

However

, very few female

students

chose to

study

mathematics and law four and six thousand

students

respectively. Almost no

men

only two thousand chose to

study

languages and very few

men

chose the arts.

However

, just as many

men

as women chose to

study

humanities.

Submitted by tukhtakulov98 on Mon Mar 23 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words students, study, subjects, men with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

138 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart shows number of students who choose different subjects at university in 2005.

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The money spent by governments on space programs would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think having a younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?