IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country
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The charts demonstrate the outcomes of a survey conducted to know some information about the
education
Use synonyms
 of people in their adulthood. The bar
chart
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 gives us the reasons behind choosing to study among
adults whereas
Accept comma addition
adults, whereas
 the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the opinion of the public about the division of the costs between 3 different entities
(
Accept space
(
employer, individual, and taxpayer). Overall, the greatest reason for deciding to have an
education
Use synonyms
 among adults is the interest in
subject whereas
Accept comma addition
subject, whereas
 the smallest is to meet people. And the shared common view of people concerning how much every entity should contribute to the costs of
education
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 is that an individual, employer and taxpayer should pay 40%, 35% and 25% respectively of the total cost. Regarding the pie
chart
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, being able to change jobs and meeting people are the weakest motives to study because they make up 12 % and 9% respectively of the total reasons. And the two major reasons are
interest
Suggestion
interested
 in the subject and gaining qualifications since they are 40% and 38 % respectively of the people being involved in the survey.
Also
Linking Words
, there are two other reasons which are improving
prospects
Suggestion
the prospects
 of promotion and enjoying study equally constitute 20% of the total reasons. Another slightly similar percentage, which is 22%, is to help them during their current job. Concerning the pie
chart
Use synonyms
, the view of the public on dividing the costs of the
education
Use synonyms
 can be demonstrated
as
Suggestion
at
 the following; the individual should contribute most to the
education
Use synonyms
 cost and
that is
Linking Words
 to say 40%, the employer should pay 35% of the gross value, and
finally
Linking Words
, the taxpayer should take the ¬responsibility of the rest which is 25%.¬¬

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
What to do next:
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