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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the amount of waste produced by three companies over the period of 15 years

The graph below shows the amount of waste produced by three companies over the period of 15 years
#amount #waste #three #companies #period #years
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The
multi line
Add a hyphen
multi-line
show examples
 graph below
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
 information about the number of
waste
Use synonyms
 produced by three different companies during the 15 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 A and B had sharply
decreasing
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 from 2000 to 2015,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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company
Use synonyms
 C had significantly
growing
Change the verb form
grown
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 in these years.
It is clear that
Linking Words
, the amount of
waste
Use synonyms
 in
first
Add an article
the first
a first
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company
Use synonyms
 an enormous decline from the pick point which
consist
Change the verb form
consists
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12
Change preposition
of 12
show examples
tonne
Change to a plural noun
tonnes
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 over the period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 B
company
Use synonyms
 had been shown a substantial climb between 2000 and 2005, but
next
Linking Words
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
decade the level of
waste
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
company
Use synonyms
 dramatically
diped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 weak point. As regards the C
company
Use synonyms
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 dramatic quality of
waste
Use synonyms
 steeply increased from 4 to 10 tonnes,
however
Linking Words
 despite greater protection of
waste
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
third
Add an article
the third
show examples
company
Use synonyms
 was not as popular as others.
In addition
Linking Words
, another interesting point is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 C
company
Use synonyms
's trend had been crossed with B in 2010 and A in 2012
Submitted by dudosh0 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words waste, company with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • waste production
  • company
  • trends
  • significant
  • fluctuations
  • surges
  • reductions
  • correlations
  • environmental policies
  • technological advancements
  • units of measurement
  • time period
  • stability
  • milestones
  • graph analysis
  • pattern recognition
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