Some people think that mobile phones are harmful for children, while others disagree.

Technology plays a big role in modern society. It assures people that they stay connected and informed. In developed countries almost every person is holding a gadget in their hands.
However
, not everyone is happy with the fact that even children are actively using mobile phones, which can be harmful for them. In
this
essay I would like to discuss
advantages
Suggestion
the advantages
and disadvantages of having phone in early age. Mobile phones give a
person an enormous
Suggestion
person with an enormous
sense of security. Most of the parents buy gadgets for their children to make sure that their kids are far from any danger while being outside of the house. In fact, it gives parents a chance to have control over the children’s life.
Moreover
, after providing children with technology, adults ensure themselves that their kids are meeting modern social
standarts
a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated
standards
and enhance their skills to meet
marketing
Suggestion
market
demands in the future.
Although
mobile phones can be perfectly used for
child’s education
Suggestion
a child’s education
, many kids do not use them for educational purposes. Most of the times it becomes a great tool for entertainment only.
Instead
of seeking the knowledge, children are finding new ways to waste their time. Studies show that less and less children dedicate their time to reading and outdoor activities that can have
harmful effect
Suggestion
harmful effects
a harmful effect
on their development. In my point of view, a balance should be found. Parents should have
opportunity
Suggestion
the opportunity
an opportunity
to stay connected with their
child
Suggestion
children
,
however they
Accept comma addition
however, they
should make sure that mobile phones do not interrupt
children’s studying process
Suggestion
the children’s studying process
.
Family
Suggestion
The family
should encourage their youngsters to use phones for necessary purposes only and the rest of time dedicate to technology free activities. In my opinion that can avoid
damaging effect
Suggestion
damaging effects
the damaging effect
of mobile phones on the kids.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: