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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

International travel makes people prejudiced rather than broad-minded. What are its causes and what measures can be taken to solve this problem?

#travel #people #measures
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International travel has taken mammoth dimensions. Unfortunately, it creates an adverse effect on people rather than make people open minded. I shall discuss the what are its problems and how to overcome
frim
a giver or sender
from
this
Linking Words
 problem in the following paragraphs. The pivotal reason of people becoming prejudice is that tourists are not respecting to the local
culture
Use synonyms
 of the place where they travel. They are inadvertently or
deliberatly
with intention; in an intentional manner
deliberately
 not following or accepting the local
culture
Use synonyms
. In India,
for instance
Linking Words
, people removes their shoes outside the temple before they enter into the
shirne
a place of worship hallowed by association with some sacred thing or person
shrine
serene
, while tourist with having
western
Suggestion
a western culture
culture
Use synonyms
 might not follow
this
Linking Words
.
In addition
Linking Words
, tourists does not respect local language and local
food
Use synonyms
. In some places, non-
vegeterian
eater of fruits and grains and nuts; someone who eats no meat or fish or (often) any animal products
vegetarian
food
Use synonyms
 is not allowed to eat and it is a big sin for people to kill
animal
Suggestion
animals
an animal
the animal
 and consume
in
Suggestion
with
during
 meals, but some tourists does not respect it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people are staying in luxurious hotels while they travel to different places. They are taking
bath three
Accept comma addition
bath, three
 times, which results in wasting of water resources.
Also
Linking Words
, they ordered
food
Use synonyms
 in large quantity which they might not be able to finish and wasting it as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, local people
does not have
Suggestion
do not have
 enough fresh water to drink and sometimes they have only one meal per day.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when tourists buy souvenir from local shops, they bargain a
lot which
Accept comma addition
lot, which
 shop owner cannot deny it because their shops are dependent on tourists only.
However
Linking Words
, there are some solutions which are not simple. The tour operator
meed
Suggestion
needs
need
mad
 to
giod
come into the possession of something concrete or abstract
get
 their tourist about local
culture
Use synonyms
, tradition and
food
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, people can
also
Linking Words
 learn from
itself
the thing named or in question
it
 by searching it online. Tourist can live with local people so that they can taste the local
culture
Use synonyms
 and local people can
also
Linking Words
 earn some money which creates a win-win situation for both. In conclusion, people need to respect the
eachothers
a theatrical performer
actors
 cultures and if they do not the many countries, whose economy is
depend
Suggestion
depending
 on tourism might affect a lot.
Finally
Linking Words
, local people
also
Linking Words
 need to understand sometimes that it takes time for people to adapt different
culture
Use synonyms
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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