Many people believe that the overconsumption of refined sugar is a major problem in the world and should be regulated the same as alcohol and tobacco. To what extend to do you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion. Write AT LEAST 250 words

Nowadays, people consume 100 times more

sugar

each day than a century ago. Especially, since most individuals are living sedentary lifestyles, working in offices,

this

excessive amount of

sugar

is simply not needed by the human body.

As a result

, the body has difficulty processing and storing the excess

sugar

and

this

leads to many diseases.

Therefore

, I completely agree that the overconsumption of refined

sugar

must be regulated as there are extremely negative consequences

to

Suggestion

for

both

individuals and

society

when people eat too much of it. Excessive amounts of

sugar

in the human body leads to a number of debilitating diseases that lower quality of life; and

therefore

, regulations must be put into place to reduce

this

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

. Millions of people consume junk food, like chocolate bars and candies, which lead to high blood-

sugar

levels and eventually obesity and diabetes. These

diseases

Accept comma addition

diseases, both

both

disable the individual and eventually result in death.

Therefore

, governments should create age restrictions on the sales of concentrated

sugar

products in order to safeguard youth from developing early addictions to

sugar

, the same as cigarettes and alcohol. I read an article just the other day which stated that childhood obesity is now an epidemic in the United States, whereby every

second

person between the age of five and 18 is more than 30% overweight,

as a result

of high-

sugar

diets.

Furthermore

, the unmitigated overuse of refined sugars is not only terrible for

individuals but

Accept comma addition

individuals, but

also

detrimental to a prosperous

society

. When a large proportion of the population suffers from

sugar

-related diseases,

society

is burdened

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are burdened

by high medical costs and low production output. The ministry of health of many nations

pay

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pays

billions of dollars to treat or cure diseases related to

sugar

consumption. Meanwhile, afflicted individuals are not able to contribute to the overall productivity of

society

. In order to curb

this

phenomenon, governments should impose a “true cost” tax, just like tobacco and alcohol, to make sugary products more expensive and less desirable. In a recent news broadcast I watched, experts explained that when the cost of products like tobacco double, their consumption is drastically reduced in

society

. In conclusion, the

overconsumption

of white

sugar

has become public enemy number one on a global scale for

both

individuals and societies.

Therefore

, I highly concur that governments must take immediate action to save their citizens from certain ailments and improve the overall quality of life.

Although

everyone agrees that

sugar

is delicious, we all value health more than the

next

sweet snack. Check the Essay New Essay The essay was modified. You should check your essay again. Sign in / Sign up IELTS Writing Evaluation 6 linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more 2 repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer 15 mistakes Band Score: 4.5 How to improve? Stats

paragraphs

Suggestion

Paragraphs

: 4

sentences

Suggestion

Sentences

: 20

words

Suggestion

Words

: 295 Coherence and Cohesion Band Score: 6.0 Structure your answers in logical paragraphs ? One main idea per paragraph 9 Include an introduction and conclusion Support main points with an explanation and

then

an example Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately Vary your linking phrases using synonyms Lexical resource Band Score: 4.0 Try to vary your vocabulary using  ONCLUSION (points restated, argument strengthened, take-home-message) In conclusion, the

overconsumption

of white

sugar

has become public enemy number one on a global scale for

both

individuals and societies.

(

Accept space

(

Argument strengthened)

Therefore

, I highly concur that governments must take immediate action to save their citizens from certain ailments and improve the overall quality of life.

(

Accept space

(

take

Suggestion

Take

-home-message)

Although

everyone agrees that

sugar

is delicious, we all value health more than the

next

sweet snack.