IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #activities #time #pressure
In the current scenario parents are more attentive about the academic performance of children due to the growing rate of school level competition. Some individual states that students should engage in educational activities during their spare
second
.While, others argue that it is not at all a right manner and would create stress among children.
This
 essay discussed these views in some detail before and states the personal opinion. On the one hand, better education, which is considered as a prime factor to develop a successful future.
For instance
, if students had worked hard
,
Accept space
,
they would have achieved the goal for maintaining a better carrier. The present generations are living in a competitive global
,
Accept space
,
if adults dedicate extra hours for studies the way for social, emotional and academic success would come into practicable.
Furthermore
, it not only generate a fruitful future, but
also inspire
Suggestion
is also inspiring
has also inspired
 a lifelong love of learning and help them to become independent.
On the other hand
, leisure stage, which is denoted as an occasion for young people to engage in recreational activities and make their mind freely. To illustrate an example, had teenagers engaged entertains, themselves during free hours
,
Accept space
,
they would have overcome academic stress and make their mind freely. Longer academic hours without any leisure could result in fatigue among children,
although
 make them mentally exhausted and would attain weak scores in academic test, spare moment aids youths to overcome
such
 problems.
Therefore
, both education and free time play a significant role in the well success of children's betterment. After thorough analysis on
this
 subject, it is predicted that education is one of the key factors for a child's achievement.
However
, dedication to academic performance without any free of time would leads harmful effects in their life. The more children become relaxed, the better their future would be.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: