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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts show the main reason for migration to and from the UK in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The pie charts show the main reason for migration to and from the UK in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
#show #reason #migration #uk #information #features #comparison
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The first pie chart illustrates the main
reasons
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 why
people
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 immigrated to the UK in 2007,
while
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 the
second
Linking Words
one
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 shows the same information on
emigration
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.
Overall
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, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 quite a wide range of
reasons
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 for
migration
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,
whereas
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 the differences
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
popularity
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 are not so noticeable.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
people
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 did not state any
reason
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 for their
migration
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 (6% and 18% for
immigration
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 and
emigration
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 respectively), at the same time, some grope of
people
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 claimed
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 none of the given
reasons
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 are suitable for them (11% of
immigrants
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 and 14% of
emigrants
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). Now turning to the details,
reasons
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as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 “definite job” and “accompany/join”
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
have nearly the same
popularity
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 both for
immigration
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 and
emigration
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. The first
one
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 is the most widespread
reason
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 for
migration
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 with 30% and 29% of the respondents stating it as their
reasons
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 for
immigration
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 and
emigration
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 respectively. The
second
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 mentioned
reason
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 is a bit less popular with the results of 15% and 13% in the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 on
immigration
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 and
emigration
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 respectively. The
reasons
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as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
“education” and “looking for
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
” have quite different
popularity
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 among
immigrants
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 and
emigrants
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. The first
one
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 was claimed as a
reason
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 for
migration
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 by 22% of
emigrants
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 and only by 12% of
immigrants
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,
while
Linking Words
 the
second
Linking Words
one
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, having an immense difference in
popularity
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 among
people
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 who came to
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 and left it, was claimed as a
reason
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 for
migration
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 by 26 % of
immigrants
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 and only by 4% of
emigrants
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tofiqtofiq732 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, people, one, emigration, migration, popularity, reason, immigration, immigrants, emigrants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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