The bar chart illustrated the salt intake in six different-age groups in two genders in the USA in 2000.

The bar chart illustrated the salt intake in six different-age groups in two genders in the USA in 2000.
The bar chart illustrated the
salt
intake in six
different-age
Correct your spelling
different age
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groups
in
Change preposition
of
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two genders in the USA in 2000. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be
seeb
Correct your spelling
seen
, the boys under 6
years
old consumed about 2000mg of salts daily, 500
mg
lower than the recommended
level
.
However
,
consume
Replace the word
consumption
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of salts dramatically increased as the boys grew, with 3500mg by the group aged 6-11
years
old and about 4300
mg
by the group aged 12 -19
years
old. The figure peaked at 4500mg by the adults aged 30-39
years
old, about one time higher than the recommended
level
and
then
dropped gradually.
However
, the seniors over 60
years
old still consumed about 3500mg, 1000mg higher than the recommended
level
.
The female
Correct article usage
Female
show examples
Americans consumed less
salt
. The figures presented a steady trend in the middle four groups (6-11
years
old, 12-19
years
old, 39-40
years
old and 40-60
years
old) with about 2750mg. The females over 60
years
old consumed the exact amount of
salt
recommended. Girls under 6
years
old only ate around 1800mg daily.
Overall
, except
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
group of children under 6
years
old, Americans in the rest of
five
Correct article usage
the five
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groups had consumed
the
Correct article usage
an
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amount
Change the quantifier
number
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of salts higher than the
level
recommended. They were fond of salty food. Males ate more
salt
than females, especially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adulthood between 20- 39
years
old.
Submitted by busybee1693 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salt, years, mg, level with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrated" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • depicts
  • salt consumption
  • age groups
  • gender
  • differences
  • notable
  • intake
  • observed
  • high
  • consumption
  • tend to
  • lowest
  • trend
  • increases
  • implications
  • negative health effects
  • risk
  • hypertension
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • recommendations
  • encouraging
  • reduced
  • promoting
  • awareness
  • consequences
  • excessive
  • sodium
  • public health
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