IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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Longer
prison
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 sentences are seen by some as the best alternative in reducing
crime
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 while others think that there are more effective ways in decreasing
crime
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.
This
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 essay by discussing both views agrees that obligatory working in
community
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 is a more effective way in reducing
crime
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 rather than prolonging
time
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 sentences in
prison
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. There is a considered
number
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 of people who thinks that prolonging
prison
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 sentences will generate fear in the criminal mind. Being aware of the lengthy
time
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 that they will spend in
prison
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, will discourage and stop criminals in committing
crime
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. Even that prolonging punishment implements fear which could prevent the crimes, it has negative consequences
such
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 as an increased
number
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 of prisoners repeating crimes because of feeling discriminated by society.
For example
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, according a recent data from the Ministry of Justice has shown that almost 70% of repeated crimes has come from ex-prisoner who have suffered a long
time
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 in jail. It is clear that are alternative ways,
such
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 as forced labour in
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community
Suggestion
the community
 or rehab help in decreasing the
number
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 of crimes. The rehabilitation or forced work will give the opportunity to the criminals to reintegrate more easily and quickly in society.
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Therefore it
Accept comma addition
Therefore, it
 is agreed that by working and interacting with others in
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community
Suggestion
the community
 will make them feel more accepted and part of it and undoubtedly, it will lead to a reduction of crimes.
For instance
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, Denmark is the prime example where the
number
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 of crimes has been decreased by 40% since the implement of forced work in the neighbourhood as punishment for light crimes. To conclude, there is undeniable evidence that by prolonging
time
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 sentences increase the fear of doing it, but
also
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 doubles the chances for repeated crimes in the future. While other believes that by educating and rehab offenders will decrease
number
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 of crimes. Without any doubt, doing forced labour in the
community
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 is more efficient in reducing
crime
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 rather than an extension of the sentences.
Submitted by basha.aldior2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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