Governments should introduce healthcare which prevents illness rather than cures it. How far do you agree with this statement?

#governments #healthcare #illness #cures

To prevent the development

illness

Change preposition

of illness

show examples

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to be

treat

Wrong verb form

treated

show examples

this

illness

. So , it means that the

illness

needs to be treated by medicines or curing and only after it is prevented.

But

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, some

people

cannot afford

curing

Change the verb form

to cure

show examples

the

illness

. Because curing and medicines are expensive. So many

people

think that

could

Correct your spelling

would

show examples

be better if the governments

prevent

Wrong verb form

prevented

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

illness

and

challenge

Wrong verb form

challenged

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

to keep a healthy lifestyle. In my opinion, I agree with

this

statement . Because I think that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health most essential thing in our life and preventing

illness

is better than curing it.

Moreover

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

curing is expensive , the governments try to find ways to encourage

people

to be

Change the word

apply

show examples

healthier . If

people

are healthy, they will not need curing or buy medicines.

Also

, if

people

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

exercises

Correct subject-verb agreement

exercise

show examples

every morning and have healthy diets, they could be

Change the word

apply

show examples

healthier, than

to be

Verb problem

apply

show examples

unhealthier like

Change preposition

apply

show examples

eating junk food or smoking

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc.

Therefore

, I believe that the government should

advertising

Change the verb form

advertise

be advertising

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television or social networks and encourage

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

to follow healthy lifestyles like eating useful meals: vegetables and fruits,

drink

Wrong verb form

drinking

show examples

a lot of water ,

also

taking exercises or

to engage

Wrong verb form

engaging in

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities.

In addition

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

can help to solve health problems and

people

can don’t struggle and worry about their health. In conclusion, I believe that and support the statement that the governments should produce on prevention

illness

Change preposition

of illness

show examples

and medical treatment. So,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should encourage and challenge the

people

to follow

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle.

Fri Mar 27 2020

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Task Achievement

Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of preventive healthcare. Provide a balanced evaluation of the statement to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize ideas more cohesively by using clearer transitional phrases and linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments should introduce healthcare which prevents illness rather than cures it. How far do you agree with this statement?

Your opinion

Some believe that people today have no interests in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today, many do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study aboard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negative impact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion