Governments should introduce healthcare which prevents illness rather than cures it. How far do you agree with this statement?
To prevent the development
illness
Change preposition
of illness
need
to be Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
treat
Wrong verb form
treated
this
illness
. So , it means that the illness
needs to be treated by medicines or curing and only after it is prevented. But
, some Correct word choice
However
people
cannot afford curing
the Change the verb form
to cure
illness
. Because curing and medicines are expensive. So many people
think that could
be better if the governments Correct your spelling
would
prevent
Wrong verb form
prevented
the
Correct article usage
apply
illness
and challenge
Wrong verb form
challenged
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
to keep a healthy lifestyle.
In my opinion, I agree with this
statement . Because I think that the
health most essential thing in our life and preventing Correct article usage
apply
illness
is better than curing it. Moreover
that
curing is expensive , the governments try to find ways to encourage Correct word choice
apply
people
to be more
healthier . If Change the word
apply
people
are healthy, they will not need curing or buy medicines. Also
, if people
take
Verb problem
apply
exercises
every morning and have healthy diets, they could be Correct subject-verb agreement
exercise
more
healthier, than Change the word
apply
to be
unhealthier like Verb problem
apply
to
eating junk food or smoking Change preposition
apply
and
etc.
Correct word choice
apply
Therefore
, I believe that the government should advertising
on Change the verb form
advertise
be advertising
the
television or social networks and encourage Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
to follow healthy lifestyles like eating useful meals: vegetables and fruits, drink
a lot of water , Wrong verb form
drinking
also
taking exercises or to engage
Wrong verb form
engaging in
sport
activities. Change the noun form
sports
In addition
, its
can help to solve health problems and Correct pronoun usage
it
people
can don’t struggle and worry about their health.
In conclusion, I believe that and support the statement that the governments should produce on prevention illness
and medical treatment. So, Change preposition
of illness
government
should encourage and challenge the Add an article
the government
people
to follow healthy
lifestyle.Add an article
a healthy
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Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of preventive healthcare. Provide a balanced evaluation of the statement to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas more cohesively by using clearer transitional phrases and linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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