IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many companies and some organizations require their employees to wear uniform. Which jobs is wearing of uniform good for? What are the disadvantages of wearing uniform to work?

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Introduction
Throughout the history of
mankinds
Correct your spelling
mankind
, a lingering social discussion has revolved around the presence of
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 in
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
.
Although
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 wearing a certain outfit in some particular occupations is usually deemed beneficial, there are some considerable drawbacks that it can bring about.
This
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 essay will elaborate on
this
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 topic with regard to the two above-mentioned points.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, unarguably, an inflexible set of clothes is advantageous in some jobs related directly to government, public administration, legal corrections or security
such
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 as military, police
office
Replace the word
officers
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, lawmakers or law-enforcement
officer
Fix the agreement mistake
officers
show examples
…. The first thing to note is that uniform, in these aforementioned cases, is considered as implicitly representative of the national duty and legitimate power.
Therefore
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, utilizing
this
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 kind of clothing in the military,
for instance
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, can be likely to illustrate and symbolize
the
Correct article usage
apply
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honour,
responsibility
Correct word choice
and responsibility
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 and
thus
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, from that, serve a role as an enduring reminder for soldiers about their lofty assignment.
Likewise
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,
in addition
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 to the fact that wearing a constant set of clothes on a daily basis
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 police
officer
Fix the agreement mistake
officers
show examples
 gain confidence whenever facing
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 or competing against criminals, citizens can straightforwardly differ
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 from
the
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apply
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ordinary people, which
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
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 to
sustain
Change the verb form
sustaining
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 a sense of safety among the majority whensoever witnessing
uniformed
Correct your spelling
uninformed
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 individuals.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, there is no room
doubt
Fix the infinitive
to doubt
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 that in some circumstances,
this
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 general tendency is counterproductive. Wearing a flat costume on a regular basis can cause many employees
feel
Add the particle
to feel
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 their
task
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tasks
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 boring, stiff and monotonous, especially in some
position
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positions
show examples
 requiring a great sense of creativity
such
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 as engineers, scientists, designers, and so forth.
As a result
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, when people are forced to get away from individualism, their productivity will be deteriorated and
job-satisfaction
Correct your spelling
job satisfaction
show examples
 might be diminished, as well.
Furthermore
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, using a formal and fixed style of dress can be able to trigger various health problems in terms of both physical and psychological aspects. The case of numerous stewardesses is a telling example, as they have to wear pencil skirts and high heels all day.
This
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 thing gradually inflicts their discomfort, even muscular pain and lasting stress.
Conclusion
As suggested above, people can bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
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discipline about
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 into play in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
suitable jobs.
Otherwise
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, assuredly, it can be able to exert manifold negative effects on employees.

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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to make the essay's perspective clearer. Introduce your two main points explicitly to guide the reader more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea to aid logical flow.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or references to research that exemplify your points to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking sentences with transitional phrases to enhance the flow between ideas within paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents a balanced view of the topic, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniforms in the workplace.
task achievement
You have provided relevant points in both sections, demonstrating an understanding of the subject matter.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear attempt to use appropriate academic language, which supports the formal tone of the essay.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cohesive brand image
  • promote discipline
  • enhanced professionalism
  • self-expression
  • standardization
  • identification
  • hygiene
  • cost of maintaining
  • employee morale
  • industry regulations
  • safety features
  • impersonal atmosphere
  • congenial work environment
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