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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014 .

The graph shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014 .
#books #men #women #burnaby #library
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The rendered
poly line
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polyline
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 graph
illustrtes
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illustrates
 the information about both sex (male and female) who read the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 at Burnaby Library
since
Change preposition
from
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 2011 to 2014 .
Overall
Linking Words
 , it can be noticed that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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read
Add a missing verb
were read
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 by men increased
continousely
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continuously
 throughout the period
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
the number
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 of
books
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
read
Add a missing verb
were read
show examples
 by women increased significantly before
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 decrease. To initiate , the
number
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 of
books
Use synonyms
 was almost 3,000 which
read
Add a missing verb
were read
show examples
 by men in 2011,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure increased by 2,000 by women in the same year .In 2012 , the
number
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 of
books
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
read
Add a missing verb
were read
show examples
 by
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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more
Add a missing verb
was more
show examples
 than
Change preposition
by male
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male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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.
This
Linking Words
 figure inclined
continousely
Correct your spelling
continuously
 by
Add an article
a male
the male
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male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 in 2013 ,
then
Linking Words
 it reached
at
Correct your spelling
a
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 peak point
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 14,000 in 2014.
However
Linking Words
 , in 2013 , 10,000
books
Use synonyms
 were read by
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 but it declined slightly by 2,000 in 2014 .
Submitted by gsajan803 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • library
  • gender
  • reading habits
  • compare
  • significantly
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • consistent
  • fluctuate
  • period
  • summarise
  • graph
  • public library
  • books read
  • Burnaby Public Library
  • 2011 to 2014
  • male
  • female
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