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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success
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In my opinion, an egalitarian community is one in which everyone has the same rights and the same
opportunites
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
. I compeleteşly agree that people can achieve more in
this
Linking Words
 kind of society. Educations
is
Suggestion
are
 an important factor with regard to
personeal
concerning or affecting a particular person or his or her private life and personality
personal
personnel
personally
success
Use synonyms
 in life. I believe that all children should have access to free schooling, and higher education should be either free or affordable for all those who chose to pursue a university degree. In a society without free schooling or affordable higher education, only
childrenj
a young person of either sex
children
 and young adults from wealthier families would have
acces
the right to enter
access
 to the best learning
opportunitesd
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
, and they
wpould
past tense of "will"
would
therefore
Linking Words
 be
bertter
(comparative of 'good') superior to another (of the same class or set or kind) in excellence or quality or desirability or suitability; more highly skilled than another
better
 prepared for the
jov
the principal activity in your life that you do to earn money
job
 market.
This
Linking Words
 kind of inequality would ensure the
success
Use synonyms
 of
some
one or some or every or all without specification
any
 but harm the
orher
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 I would argue that equal rights and
opportunites
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
 are not in conflict with people's freedom to succeed or fail.
In other words
Linking Words
, equality does not mean that people lose their motivation to succeed,
ot
away from home
out
oath
or
 that they are not allowed to fail.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, I believe that most people would feel more motivated to work hard and reach their potential if they thought that they lived in a fair society. Those who did not make the same effort would know that they had wasted their opportunity. Inequality,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, would be more
likelt
has a good chance of being the case or of coming about
likely
 to
demotivate
Suggestion
 people because they would know that the odds of
success
Use synonyms
 were low compared to those from
privilieged
blessed with privileges
privileged
 families. In
conlusuion
a position or opinion or judgment reached after consideration
conclusion
, it
seem s
give a certain impression or have a certain outward aspect
seems
 to me that there is
apositive
Suggestion
a positive
 relationship between equality and personal
success
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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